Transitioning Back to Work After Maternity Leave
Returning to work after maternity leave can conjure up a mix of emotions. It can feel exciting to go back to work and regain parts of your life pre-baby, but it can also feel quite daunting. You may experience thoughts like, “What if I can’t do the job anymore?” “How am I going to feel leaving my baby with someone else?” “Will I be able to shift from mum mode to work mode?”
Equally, you may be really looking forward to returning to work. For some, going back to work can feel less stressful than being at home alone with a baby. Dr. Rick Hanson explains, “that 98% of the occupations in the world are less stressful than being home alone with young children or managing the day-to-day activities.” Hanson says that most jobs, unless you’re an inner-city police officer, or in combat somewhere in the world or in an emergency room setting with tremendous day to day pressure, are not as stressful as being a mum. The weight of sheer pressure that mothers feel is heavy. We all want to do the best job possible, but the cortisol levels that are connected to the nature of stressful activities such as lack of control, being interrupted frequently, along with being with highly dysregulated and emotional little ones that you care immensely about, can take its toll and also motherhood can sometimes feel lonely and isolating. Going back to work for some can feel like a bit of respite. And then there’s the guilt for actually feeling like that or looking forward to going back to work!
All these thoughts can leave you feeling mentally exhausted and on top of that, it’s not uncommon to experience imposter syndrome; a psychological phenomenon where one doubts their abilities and feels like a fraud, despite evidence of their competence.
My Journey
I was made redundant for the first time in my career in September 2022, the week I was due to return to work after maternity leave. I found navigating my way back to the world of work really hard. I think it was due to a combination of imposter syndrome and matrescence. I’ve defined imposter syndrome above but matrescence is probably a less well-known term. For those of you who haven’t come across the term before, it’s the process of becoming a mother. It can be likened to the developmental journey of adolescence, with all the shifting hormones, physical and identity changes that happen at that time.
Since becoming a mother, I’ve certainly experienced hormonal, physical and identity changes. My views on work and parenthood have also changed. I never thought I’d utter the word babycino, but I now find it slipping off the tongue, more frequently than I would like 🙂
Thanks to working with a coach, I’ve also been able to understand this period of matrescence and how that has affected me better. I recently reviewed my values and realised that some of them have changed since becoming a mum. Our values really drive our decisions and I found that reflecting on my values in this way enabled me to reflect more on why I was feeling a certain way about decisions that I had made.
I’m much clearer about how much I want to work and who I want to work with. I still suffer from imposter syndrome, but understanding it helps and I actively work on trying to overcome it when I find it taking hold of me.
Understanding Imposter Syndrome:
Imposter syndrome is characterised by persistent feelings of self-doubt, fear of being exposed as a fraud, and a belief that one’s accomplishments are due to luck rather than their abilities. Recognising the signs of imposter syndrome is the first step in overcoming it. Common signs include minimising achievements, fear of failure, and constantly seeking validation from others.
Ways to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
1. Embrace Your Accomplishments: Acknowledge your achievements and the skills that got you to where you are today. Take time to reflect on your past successes and remind yourself that you have earned your position through hard work and dedication. Keep a record of positive feedback and accomplishments as a reminder of your capabilities.
2. Seek Support and Mentoring: Reach out to colleagues, mentors, or friends who can provide guidance and support during your transition back to work. Discuss your concerns and fears openly, as you’ll likely find that many others have experienced similar feelings. Their reassurance and advice can help you gain perspective and build confidence.
3. Set Realistic Expectations: It’s essential to set realistic expectations for yourself as you return to work. Understand that there may be an adjustment period as you navigate work-life balance, and it’s okay to ask for support when needed. Be patient with yourself and allow room for learning and growth.
4. Build a Supportive Network: Connect with other working parents or join support groups within your company or community. Sharing experiences, challenges, and strategies can help you feel less alone and provide valuable insights for managing both work and family responsibilities. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network can boost your confidence and help alleviate imposter syndrome.
5. Continuous Learning and Professional Development: Invest in your professional growth by seeking out opportunities for learning and development. Attend workshops, conferences, or online courses to enhance your skills and stay updated in your field. Expanding your knowledge and expertise can boost your confidence and reaffirm your value in the workplace.
6. Practice Self-Care: Returning to work after maternity leave can be physically and emotionally demanding. Prioritise self-care to maintain your well-being. Establish boundaries between work and personal life, practice mindfulness or relaxation techniques, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Taking care of yourself will positively impact your overall confidence and performance.
Returning to work after maternity leave can be a big adjustment. Go easy on yourself. Practise self-compassion. Give yourself time to adjust and recognise how far you’ve come already. This will help you to transition back to work with confidence and success whilst knowing that you’re also doing your best as a mum. And if you can afford it, I’d highly recommend working with a coach to help you through the transition.
Book a discovery call with me to explore how I might be able to help.